Tuesday, April 28, 2020, Day 44, Week 7, Month 2 of Self Isolation.

The Numbers

Yesterdays new deaths were 360 but today they are back up again to 633. There is always a delay in reporting after the weekend. But, things are moving in the right direction. Globally, there have now been over 3 million confirmed cases and over 200,000 reported deaths.

They have also reported that there have been 4343 Covid deaths in care homes across the country since Easter, in addition to those that have already been reported in hospitals.

The News

Today the country held a minute’s silence at 11am to remember all the key workers who have died during the crisis.

They are still talking about how they are increasing testing capacity even though we are way below their target of 100,000 a day, and we still have some of the lowest testing rates compared to other countries.

There are reports of a dangerous new, Covid related, inflammatory syndrome that is affecting children. There is still so much we don’t know about this virus.

The New Way of Life

The weather has changed. We woke up to rain this morning and it has rained all day.

Last night, after dinner, we watched a couple of episodes of Mediterranean with Simon Reeve and then the latest on of Killing Eve. I’m beginning to tire of our evening routine; cook, eat and watch TV. I’d love to go out for a drink, a meal or to the cinema, even a takeaway would make a change from cooking and washing up every night. Of course we can’t. M suggested maybe playing a game instead. It’s not something we’ve ever really done together much, but maybe we should give it a try.

Today I’ve done some more work for the business. I’ve baked some coconut bread and finished editing Chapter 4 of Wait for Me! At last! Only another 11 to go.

IMG_5085

M has heard that the funeral of his cousin in New York will take place via Zoon in a few days time. It’s being streamed on Zoom so that mourners can take part during lockdown in New York, but ironically, it has worked for M in that he will be able to attend whereas he would probably not have been able to travel to New York for it in normal circumstances. There again, she would not have died in normal circumstances.

Dreams in the Time of Covid

I’ve been having really vivid dreams over the past few weeks.

Normally, I don’t remember my dreams at all.

Last night I dreamt that we had decided to take a chance and have a Chinese takeaway. When we got there we were shown along some secret passageways (probably prompted by a snippet from the Simon Reeve programme on secret Mafia safe houses) to an underground, illegal restaurant. It was heaving with people. We couldn’t find anywhere to sit and people were constantly getting too close to M and even touching him. I was frantic.

In another one, I was at the hospital where my granddaughter was being examined in A&E for symptoms of the new illness that is affecting children (this time probably prompted by my daughter telling me she had a rash and fever a few weeks ago and wondering if she had had it). I was cuddling her and kissing her before I suddenly realised I shouldn’t be doing that and was anxiously trying to work out what I could do, whether it would be ok just to shower and wash my clothes when I got home, or whether I would need to  go and stay somewhere else for a while, to avoid passing on the infection to M.

In both dreams, there was tiger lurking about in the background. Passing through the crowds in the restaurant, moving past doorways in the hospital, always just slipping in and out of view, but adding to my fear and anxiety.

I used to dream about tigers a lot during another uncertain period of my life. After I divorced my first husband, I moved house and started a new job, all in quick succession. Tigers featured in my dreams for many months around this time. They only stopped when I finally confronted the tiger in a dream. It didn’t bite me. It just closed its mouth around my outstretched hand and pressed its teeth against my skin. It didn’t draw blood or even hurt me. I never dreamt of tigers again (until now). It was as if I had exorcised it by being brave enough to confront it! Weird!

 

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